A Great Blog

No More Antibiotics!! Whoot!!

2010-09-08T08:38:00.000-04:00

Today is a great day. It's the second day of school and my first day with no antibiotics in five months straight. With any luck, that fourth round of meds will be my final round in my battle against late stage Lyme Disease. YAY!!

Of course, only time will tell. I could be writing here in a few weeks that my symptoms all came crashing back and the doctor is debating on installing a picc line or not. He wasn't too thrilled to hear I was going on a cruise in November and he was disinclined to let me have a picc line while traveling out of the country... but there are lots of variables in play, so I'm going to think positive and live my life like I've beat this damn disease.

My good friend, Karuna, moved back into the country last week and we went to lunch yesterday. It was terrific to see her and kind of wired, in a good way, too. We both said it felt like the two years hadn't existed and it was as if she'd never left. Funny how close friendships can feel that way. She's known about my writing since the beginning and has supported me through emails, voting, facebook comments, and spreading the word however she could. It was incredible to see her as enthusiastic about it as I am.

Ahh... but it keeps leading me back to the inevitable... What to do about my book? I received a rejection from one of the last four publishers that has it, it was a longish kind of rejection - basically saying he liked the two MCs, their relationship & chemistry, and my writing and the premise and setting, but was disappointed the mystery didn't take more center stage.

I've said from the beginning the book is not a mystery, but more of an adventure. Apparently, it crosses so many genres it doesn't fit in any one of them squarely and it leaves the publishers floundering on what to do with it. I'm pretty sure the other publishers are going to reject it too. If they really wanted it we would have heard something by now. Sure, we could start submitting to the smaller houses now, but is it worth it?

And that's the $64,000 question.

Can they do more for me than I can do on my own? With the changes undergoing the publishing industry is it even worth it to take the risk on a smaller house?

Karuna said the same thing a lot of my writing friends have said to me in the past ten months. That I've basically exploded off the page out of nowhere and most writers take years to get to where I am. Not that it was a bad thing, just that it is not usual. She made me feel better about my collapsed friendship with my former writing partner, even pointing out that my surpassing her in our nine months of close association was what could have led to our falling out.

Jealousy is a wasted emotion in my mind. When I start to feel the slightest green-eyed feelings I immediately turn it around and congratulate the person and wish them the best. My time will come someday and in the interim, I'd like to think there is enough good will to go around and I should rejoice that someone else's hard work has paid off.

The erotica venture is going well. Although, due to their crappy "publisher" page, I have no idea how many actual subscribers we have on the Kindle. In addition, it turns out they don't allow periodicals (newspapers, magazines and blogs) to be downloaded anywhere except to the Kindle device. This issue didn't come up for me b/c I have a Kindle. So for any of you who'd like to read some well written erotica, please stop by this direct link and check us out:

http://everythingerotic.wordpress.com/

We've got on-going serials, stand-alone stories and a plethora of other naughty things in store for readers. You can also keep in touch with the site on Facebook and have the latest episodes available to read in the notes section (as a feed):

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Everything-Erotic/144858635539180?v=wall

Today marks the day of a new chapter in my life. I'm antibiotic free and I'm going to go exercise before some shiny object (or email) distracts me and I keep my ass in this chair longer than I should this morning.

Wishing you all a great week,
C.J.

"Thar She Blows!"

2010-09-01T00:11:00.001-04:00

No, I'm not referring to some bad dialogue in a low budget porn movie. I was thinking more along the lines of the whale's breathe as it mists in a huge plume above the ocean. It's how I'm thinking my head will look when the steam rushes out of my ears and I snap from the self-induced stress I've placed upon myself.

It's been a really long week and I'm thrilled beyond words to be escaping it early and plan to be curling up later today in my camper, enjoying the woods of West Virginia-- hopefully with a good book and an alcoholic beverage. Relax, I won't be in banjo country. I think.

Today is the day we, the Everything Erotic team, launch our new blog on Kindle as a paid subscription. We've asked our friends, families, and supporters to stop by and subscribe for the free trial to help move our blog up the complex Amazon ranking system. I say complex because we had an early subscriber give us a one star rating for not having any content and running a contest he mis-read, all before our launch mind you, and it lowered us significantly in the rankings.

Ahh... the joys. I'm so worn out that I honestly don't care about the review. I woke up early yesterday and wrote the politest response I could to the gentleman and offered him a refund out of my own pocket (because, of course, it was a whopping $1.99 and Amazon won't give me our 30% cut for a month or more, and yes, you read that right -- they take 70%). We'll see if I hear from him. What more can I do? Moving on.

The content we've got lined up is great. The fiction work spans from erotica, erotic romance, to romantic erotica. And yes, there is a difference. We have straight, gay, lesbian, menage and some fetish in store and that's just the first month! Our non-fiction work will take a wild look into a BDSM festival, sex in the Roman empire, and a fun letter written in to our sex advice column.

I don't think I can do anything else to make this fly. I will honestly be able to stand back if it fails and say "well, I gave it my all."

If you're interested in seeing what we've come up with, or know of someone who likes erotica, please pass this link on to them:

Everything Erotic

Here is the direct URL if that doesn't work for you:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003ZDO2BM

And if they need to download the Kindle app, have them try here. Those fabulously clever people at Amazon make sure you can use their Kindle application even without the device.

Will this be a way for me to reach more readers who might be interested in buying V V down the line? I don't know, but I'm so tired of waiting for the NY houses to tell me if my book is sellable, I figured it couldn't hurt to try.

Wishing you all a great week and a terrific Labor Day weekend, and if you're up for a naughty read, be sure to stop by the Erotic site and say hi.

Cheers,

C.J.

When Sex is Work

2010-08-26T11:41:00.000-04:00

My back aches and my stomach is growling. Is it from too much sex? No, sorry to disappoint, it's from too much work! (but I bet I made you smile)

I've been pulling ten and twelve hour days trying to write, blog, comment on blogs, connect on FB, edit, plan, and organize a new site. It has been way more draining than I'd like, but exciting at the same time.

Will this venture fly? Will I be able to reach enough readers so that if I don't get a contract offer next month, I will be able to sell my book on my own? I've never wanted anything so bad in my life. I've never had such a burning desire to succeed at anything like this-- ever.

On the one hand, I guess that means I've found my true passion in life - writing and working to sell my work. On the other - it is incredibly time consuming, daunting, difficult and down right scary at times!

Tons of readers - like hundreds! - came out and supported me during the Dorchester contest. Most of my readers don't follow the industry and couldn't give two craps about who publishes a book, they want a good read, plain and simple. So it may come as a surprise to some of you that Dorchester is close to the edge of tumbling for good.

The writer who won the contest, and my friend Kerri, who got third place, have both pulled their rights back from the publisher when Dorchester announced the company was going to a strictly ebook publishing format. Despite the surge of elation I felt that they did not offer me a contract and I was not going through the heart-rendingly difficult time those authors and many, many more are going through -- I also felt relief.

Who would have thought that after months of hard work, pushing myself and my readers beyond anything I ever expected, that the company would be close to folding just eight short months later? Not me, that's for sure!

I know there are lots of religious people in the world that feel everything happens for a reason. I admit, until a few weeks ago, I never felt that way. I dodged a major bullet on losing that contest and it almost feels like someone or something is looking out for me.

Sure, I may be still be sick, I may have had a hard year, losing my nephew Eric this spring is still something we deal with week to week, and my book hasn't sold (nor does it look like it will anytime soon) -- but despite all that, I feel like I'm in a good place right now.

This new erotica venture is seriously fun. I get to write sex. I get to edit sex. I get to check out seriously hot erotic art. Oh - and I get to read sex for a book review I'll be doing on the site.

I'm not stopping on book two of The V V Inn series, nor am I stopping on my middle grade book or my non-fiction blog, but the past three weeks I've been focused on the erotica site.

And damn, it's fun. When sex is your work, how can you go wrong? You can bet your sweet patootie my husband isn't complaining either! ;-)

Wishing you all a great weekend and I hope some of you decide to check out the new venture on the first - it will be steaming hot, so consider yourself warned!

~C.J.

Sex Sells - But How do You Package It?

2010-08-19T15:19:00.001-04:00

That question has been on my mind for months. More so since my Kindle arrived the end of last month. The most hits I get to my blog are when I do the monthly sex toy review. I knew that would happen and that's why I did it.

I know what makes my story stand out - my manuscript, not my life story ;-) The sex is hot, the couple is happily married, and *gasp* they're monogamous. I don't know why society acts like it's only the single or multi-partnered people that have fun when the lights go off. I've had more fun in my sex life with the man I'm married to than any other person on the planet (and believe me, I sure had fun in my younger, single days!).

True intimacy just can't be reached in a night or even in a few months, it takes YEARS.

Sex sells - but how do you get it to the electronic gadget using consumer?

Unbeknownst to me, Adult Content apps don't get approved on Apple or any platform carried on Verizon, AT&T or Sprint. The Adult Content people who have tried certainly knew, but a regular schmoe like me had no idea. I mean, I'm not searching for porn on my ipod touch or my cell phone, so how the hell would I know?

I have stumbled on a loop hole. If you have a business license, business bank accounts and a plan you can too. I have a plan (and the other stuff too). One I'm not willing to spill the details here. You know, just in case it actually works and my co-partners in crime want to kill me for spilling the beans before we launch.

What I can tell you is this - remember the erotica story idea I mentioned months ago? Butt Boy and the Receptacles? I started writing it. I've written the first part of one of Johnny's adventures and am almost done with the second. I've teamed up with eleven talented erotica writers - all at various stages in their career - and we're writing our little hearts out this month to line some naughty stories up for readers next month.

The "dirty dozen", as I call us, are gearing up to get some highly-polished, super hot erotica posted online in a new venture. But this venture is different than an average blog, it's more like an ezine, open to subscribers only.

I'll post details about it on the day we launch, and I hope some of you will stop by to read what we're cooking up. I've never worn an editor hat before, and hadn't realized I could. I learned a lot more last year than I had thought and have been able to help some of the writers polish their pieces even more.

To think I may have actually hit on an idea where I can reach real readers... and not other writers like my other blogs do... wow, that's just huge.

Sex Sells. And I plan on packaging it in well written words. With the occasional erotic picture thrown in for fun.

I hope you stop by to visit on September first -- I'll have details posted on how you can get a free trial subscription for two weeks. Hot, sexy stories delivered right to you on your phone, your computer, or your ereader -- who could ask for anything more?

C.J.

Sexteenth: Sex is Meant to Be Fun!

2010-08-16T10:03:00.000-04:00

We seem to forget in this fast-paced world of always looking for the next 'big thing' that what we really need most in our lives is to slow down and tune out. I'm not saying go unplugged for days at a time and venture to some remote location with no internet location - God forbid! ;-)

I'm saying you need to disconnect to re-connect with your lover. For a few hours you should turn off the TV (save the porn fix for your next quickie!), ipod, ipad, cellphone, crackberry, laptop, ereader and whatever else that is electronic and requires your attention. Make some effort to create a romantic spot-- light some candles, put some music on low and relax. And do it before you're too exhausted to care about seeing your partner naked!

The product I'm going to talk about today is a fun one. Not something you have to hide, not something you'll blush if it's found in your bathroom, not something you have to purchase and have shipped to you in a plain brown wrapper.

Bring some light-heartedness back into your love-play. Rediscover your fun side and the things you used to do when you were first exploring each other.

Bathtub Love

Laugh all you will, giggle like I'm an idiot... but the joke will be on you. Love making should be fun as well as exploring, daring, intimate, and constantly changing. Don't scoff until you try it -- and then, if you truly hate the lighter side of love, then eh, we each have our own opinion and we'll leave it at that.

Here's what the back of the package says:

Bathtub Love is an erotic foreplay game that allows lovers to explore the sensuality of sharing a nice warm tub.

Each bubble is filled with four actions that vary from playful to naughty. Place the bubbles into the tub; then pick up one of the bubbles. Randomly select a romantic action from the bubble and perform it on your lover. After performing the action, set it aside, re-seal the bubble, and return the bubble to the tub. Your lover then takes the next turn and play continues until all entries are carried out or until foreplay has turned into something more.

And yes, you can buy it at my favorite spot - drugstore.com! I sampled some of the reviews, good and bad, below for you. But at $15.99, I think this would make an excellent gift for friends going away on a long-awaited couples only trip, a terrific "personal" Christmas addition, a fun private birthday gift, and a fun-loving choice for Valentine's Day. Who wants flowers that die when you can have a gift for less that keeps on giving?

Out of 18 reviews it received a cumulative 4 out of 5 stars:

Despite what the packaging says, I've proven it's possible to lose at this game. Some of the suggestions were way too naughty for my conservative christian wife to handle. It wound up killing the mood and we went no further. This game has a lot of potential as long as both partners are open-minded and already have a good channel of communication established. I second what others say about the tabs being sticky and hard to read. Also, some of the suggestions require more room and just don't work in a bathtub.

This makes a great Valentines gift. It is lots of fun, romantic and good for great laughs and memories. Perfect for romantic vacations or just a date night.

Pretty cool to use in the hot tub (not the bubble liquid though). My wife also likes to leave the little "requests" on my pillow, so they are also fun, even when it's not "bath time".

Great fun to get things started. Only problem is the the little cards in each bubble are hard to pull apart and read because the print is small.

Nope, not for us. Listen, if you are normal middle class American who does have the time, and energy for having sex all the time-this is not for you. 1: It takes too long to play this lame game. 2: The game pieces are not exciting at all, unless you have never had foreplay before. 3: It's a little difficult to be together in a bathtub (and I have a large garden tub), with all these stupid "bubbles" getting in the way. LAME. Don't waste your money.

Highly recommend if you have that special someone that enjoys the lighter side of life. Fun, spontaneous, and sexy (nothing over the top). The hours flew by Much too quickly and I haven't laughed that hard in a long while (never even got around to the bubbles).

Take the good with the bad. Go online to read some more reviews if you're on the fence, but seriously? It's not some big huge strap-on you have to worry about - it's sexy fun in a little pink bubble. Take it for what it is: A relaxing, fun time in warm water with your lover and you'll like it just fine.

Rating 3.5 Big O's out of 5

Bottom line -- it was fun and I'm glad I spent my money on it. And so is my husband.

Wishing you and yours a fun, adventurous, sex-life in the coming month. Bring the carefree spirit back into the moment and take the pressures off yourselves:

Live, Love, Laugh.

It's not just a pretty sign people put on their walls, it's how we should each take some time to enjoy our lover. Be in the moment; be present for every slap, tickle and kiss.

C.J.

Working on a Schedule

2010-08-03T09:17:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling a TON better lately. No Lyme symptoms since early July. The amount of work I've been able to plan and get done has been incredible. It's like my old self has finally come back. I'm going to try not to think about what will happen when I go off my antibiotics next month.

I've got a new blog in the works - one in which I hope to position on Kindle to make some money. Whether it will succeed or not remains to be seen. I started a new middle grade book for my kids-- which I don't plan on selling, I'm doing it for them, but if it turns out well I will certainly market it. Another non-fiction blog, under a new pen name, based on the knowledge I've gained this past year while learning to live gluten free.

On that note, I have to head back to the doctor's. Not too thrilled about that. May have to get another endoscopy to check my EE and if it's under control, may have to have my throat ballooned open again... but overall, still better than dealing with Lyme.

I'm starting the sexy short erotica stories I had talked about months ago... let's see what else.... I added five new writers to Wicked, with one more in the wings who'll be ready in three months (after her book is edited and submitted to her publisher).

Oh, and my biggest news in a while -- more of a personal revelation than anything else. I don't think my book is going to sell to the NY publishers. I know my agent says they take a looooong time in reading it and getting back to you. But this seems very very long. Granted two have had it since May, but the first two (and the biggest in the industry) have had it since March.

I haven't lost all hope, it still clings in me like a burr to a sock, but I'm starting to take steps in case things don't pan out. I had just started the self publishing route when I got an agent in March. I'm going to pick back up where I left off and proceed with a plan to self publish before the holidays.

This means I have to do one more pass on the MS with editing, write my glossary, draw my map, do my contributor page, acknowledgement page, format, and a TON of other stuff to make the book look as professional as possible. I'm attending a webinar next week on enhanced ebooks, so I may even try to add some of what I learn in with the ebook launch (same time as the print launch).

To learn all about ebooks I bought myself a Kindle DX. So far I'm digging it-- much better than last year's tinier model with no 3G. I'm still learning the ins and outs and today I may take a few hours to plow through the rest of the manual and learn how to download the existing ebooks I have been given. I'm enjoying the clarity of the screen, the way the e-ink looks and the feel of the device in my hands.

I opted for the bigger one so it would feel more like a real book page, but yes, it is heavier and takes some getting used to. Unlike the ipad I tried out - which is much more than an ereader and too heavy to hold comfortably for even five minutes. Not that this gadget girl doesn't want one, but I need to stick with the real reason I want one - as an ereader, not a new portable computer I can take everywhere with me.

Have you ever heard the adage "If you try a new habit for three weeks it becomes a part of your life"?

On that note, I'm taking some steps to manage all these goals I have for myself as well as getting healthy. Here are my "new habits":

1) Drink more water throughout the day
2) Exercise daily every morning
3) Write two gluten free blog posts daily (under a different name, I'll tell you when I have enough on the page to make it worthy)
4) Write for one hour minimum before noon on a current project

I've dropped my kids at camp and had some yogurt with my daily meds, so it's time to grab some water and go exercise. I have 2 1/2 hours to get the rest done before I have to pick my daughter up.

Wah-pesh! Back to work!

Cheers~
C.J.

The Sexteenth again? So Soon? Yes! Oh, Yes!!

2010-07-16T11:49:00.000-04:00

We've covered some interesting topics so far - a large pink conical device, foam shapes to position yourself comfortably during the act, and the all important: lubrication. But I haven't gone all out and mentioned any actual "toys" yet. I'm breaking you all in slowly (so to speak ;-) I'll save the crop for later). If I bring out the big guns right away you may all run away screaming madly.

This week we're covering something small, cheap and (depending how long your man can keep it up) fun for one night only. It may not wind up being your go-to toy for every occasion, but for a weekend get-a-way with your lover or a surprise gift, the price can't be beat.

Today's Toy to Discuss: The Vibrating Cock Ring

I discovered this little gadget a few years ago by accident. I think it may have been one of those toys I read a review for and thought "Hey, what the hell. It's cheap." Or maybe it came free when I purchased a ludicrous amount around Valentine's one year, I don't remember.

It comes without a condom. I think it was originally packaged and sold with condoms only, but now you can get them condom free. If you've had kids, are over the age of 40, and in a safe monogamous relationship, then one of you needs to get fixed. And unless the woman is undergoing a c-section when you make this life altering decision (which is what we did), then it should be the guy.

A little snip you can recover from over the weekend with ice is not the same as major surgery for a woman. Get the snip. You won't regret it. Sex in the kitchen! Sex on the rug! Sex in the woods! Really -- you can break-in every room in your house when your kids are not around. Safe sex does wonders for spontaneity. It feels great and is incredibly freeing.

We have friends that "got snipped", and the equipment works fine. So any selfish son-of-a-bitch who'd rather force his wife to get a tubal ligation (not involved with a c-section) instead of getting the snip deserves to be smacked. Such a man does not deserve condom free sex -- ever!

Okay, climbing off my soap box.

The vibrating cock ring is fun. Has anyone ever heard the song by Big & Rich Save a Horse. Ride a Cowboy ? I was laughing my butt off the first time I heard the song - thinking sexy, naughty thoughts through the whole thing. Here's the video - but yes, forgive me, it is a country song (and no, I'm not a country fan). I had hoped for hot guys in the video, but they went the hot girl route instead (totally mossed the point of the song in my mind!).

Back on topic: yes, the girl on top position works great with this gadget. The ring has staying power of at least twenty minutes, so you can try other positions as well and see which one helps to poise the vibrating nub exactly where it will do the most good.

The one I'm reviewing this week bills itself as The Original Inner Vibe, and of course I bought it at my favorite place-- drugstore.com! (click for their listing) When I say cheap - I mean CHEAP! Your spouse's little penny-pinching heart won't find fault in a fun little gadget that costs $6.79!

How can you go wrong? I mean honestly, it could last ten minutes, get you revved up, leave you hanging and it would still be worth the cost. Our babysitter makes more than that in an hour of watching our kids.

Out of 23 total reviews, it earned four stars on the site. Lots of reviews were pretty short, so here is a mix of them:

Enjoyed it the first time but that may be the novelty. Waiting for my wife to suggest it again. Other toys more popular with her.

this is our first toy of this type. i wanted something to use during intercourse to stimulate the special girl spot, but the vibration is just too weak. it was easy to put on and take off, but my husband said it squeezes him and is not really comfortable. i have to sit in an unnatural position to try to reach the vibrating nubs because it's really too small. the ad said it had a short battery life, so i bought two. but we haven't used it long enough to use the first battery. it's really been more of a distraction than an aid, fortunately it didn't cost much.

Amazing Product! most powerful we've tried yet.

It was ok, just the battery life is to short.

Love this product. Will buy again.

Works very well!!!!

We've tried most of the "starter" vibrating rings and this one is definitely the best. Well made, fairly good vibs, and can prolong "activities". One didn't last long, but most can last a couple sessions. If you haven't tried rings before, this is the best one to buy.

What can I say? Loved it ...loved it...loved it. Both my husband and I thought it was so awesome! I just ordered 5 more!!! Worth the money. Used it without the condom though.

It would make a great gag gift, part of a weekend or vacation travel kit, stocking stuffer, or Valentine's addition. Splurge! Have fun!

If you are on the fence about buying a "toy," let this be your first one. It doesn't cost a lot if you hate it, and it's always fun to try something new.

C.J.'s rating: 3 out of 5 Big O's

There you have it - the vibrating cock ring. Why not a higher rating? Well, it may not be comfortable for your spouse to wear if he's *ahem* wide. He felt the material needed a bit more give (but I read the newest ones have more flexibility, so we'll be buying another one to try), and I certainly can't claim that lovemaking is all about the woman, so I'm rating it three O's.

I'll be giving one away this month to a lucky commenter, plus an extra bottle of Pjur Lube! Please, no out of the country entrants. I'm such a bad person my Aussie package is finally going out tomorrow. I'm lucky the last winner is nice and hasn't resorted to sending me hate mail yet (thanks Kat!!).

~C.J.

Summer Projects

2010-07-07T10:26:00.001-04:00

This week has been the best I've felt in three weeks or more. This latest Herxheimer reaction has really hit me hard and my body is still recovering from it. My body hurts, I'm achey - and I will never look at an arthritic elderly person the same way ever again - but still better than a little bit ago.

Pete and I did some projects in the house this weekend. Replacing a dishwasher last weekend and destroying a bunch of tiles left us in a quagmire. Dozens of cracked tiles and now some shattered ones left us scrambling to get a new floor in place before we schedule an appraisal (we want to re-fi to lower our rate and the house will have a full detailed walk-through appraisal done). It also prompted me to clean up, donate, give-away, reorganize and do tons of laundry.

All in addition to two July 4th parties (not here, out at other people's houses) and high nineties heat (it was over a hundred today!). I'm tired and I'm limping, but I feel like I've accomplished something.

Pete did the floor - so he gets all the credit. Here are some pics to see the transformation, and yes, pardon the cluttered counters. I really should have cleaned them off before I took the pic, but we had to step around the big man in the kitchen for two days, so eh, it didn't get done.

The job had already started by the time I remembered my camera.

And here is the final project - not bad overall. I'll post some pics of the small guest room/ exercise room I was working on this weekend in a later post. I still need to hang some pictures and stuff.

Off to organize some new blood for the group blog, write out detailed instructions on how to use various aspects on Wordpress and do even more laundry. I really, really hate laundry.

Story Day: #1 Tommy's Commute

2010-06-30T10:20:00.002-04:00

I've hit a rough patch right now and need to take a break from pressuring myself beyond what I'm physically able to do. Which means I plan to take a break from writing my second book for a bit. I don't see the big rush when the first one hasn't sold and the Lyme Disease is making it hard to concentrate, so I decided to work on something lighter and shorter.

Pete and I have often joked that our lives are like a Seinfeld episode. We lived outside the NY metro area for the first seven years of being together and the attitude prevalent in NY and NJ made for some pretty funny tales (hence Seinfeld's appeal). Most stories will be from mine and Pete's own personal experience in life, but some will be from friends.

I don't plan on doing name changes, because most of my friends don't know I write a blog and won't know to look for it. But, maybe if friends get on my back about it later I will.

Here it begins, Story Number One.

Today's tale is not mine, but from a friend, Tommy McNally. To know Tom is to love him. He's a wiry, five-foot-ten Irish guy in his forties with an attitude, 165 pounds soaking wet, blotchy skin and red hair. His nickname in school was McNasty, and some days more than others, he earned it.

Tommy used to a be a trader on Wall Street. He's since moved on to a less stressful job for health reasons, but this event harks back about eleven or twelve years ago to when he rode the bus from the Port Authority in Manhattan each day to his place in Hoboken.

One day on the ride home, sitting with a bunch of other commuters in suits and dresses as they all quietly contemplate their day or the evening ahead of them, Tom sees a man sit in the back of the bus who is not like all the other commuters. He's dressed in casual clothes, and can best be described as an angry young man, who perhaps doesn't earn as much as the other patrons on the bus or maybe he's a college kid heading home from visiting friends - whatever.

This man doesn't like the suits and starts to throw things - waded up paper and bits of food at the back of all the short haircuts displayed in front of him. This goes on for a bit. He's successfully nailed pretty much everyone on the bus, but no one says a thing. The tension in the bus rises and lots of people are shifting in their seats, barley controlling their annoyance at being hit in the head with stuff over and over again.

A boiling rage takes hold of Tommy. If you knew Tom, you'd know this rage is probably only a 12-pack of beer away at most times, but this is after work and he's usually a pretty low-key guy when he's not laughing at you. No longer able to read his paper and block out the angry young man, he crumples it in his fist when another wad of something hits the back of his head.

He stands and yells, "That's it! I'm not going to take it anymore!" A mighty yell works its way out of his enraged face as he turns and addresses his fellow commuters,"Who's with me!?!"

Four or five other pissed-off suit-wearing bus riders, men Tom has only nodded to in passing for months, stand up at Tommy's call and advance on the young man in the back of the bus. A few punches are thrown and chaos ensues while the angry, casually-dressed man is subdued.

The bus driver pulls over without a word being spoken and opens the folding doors. The suits drag the young man off the bus where he is unceremoniously thrown on the side of the road. The doors close and the bus pulls away, amid applause and cheering the likes of which have never been heard on a commuter bus before.

Tommy and the others return to their seats - amid much back-slapping, high-fives, thank you's and general lifting of spirits.

Who would have thought a group of near strangers would come together over a common menace one day on the way home from work? Not Tommy, that's for sure.

Hope you enjoyed it!

~C.J.

The Sexteenth! It's Finally Here!

2010-06-16T07:30:00.002-04:00

Ahh.. and here we are dear readers, back again talking about great sex toys. I know most all of you are uncomfortable posting opinions on such a questionable topic with your own name - so I've opened the comments up to anonymous ones as well. But beware, I will delete hate, slamming, preaching crap and "you're a tramp" type of comments.

Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Today's Topic: LUBE

But before I get into that and tell you my favorite, I have something sensitive to cover: Shaving.

Most men act like this is only a woman's role, obviously, I'm not counting the shaving they daily do/or do not do on their own faces. We shave our legs and underarms, our bikini area, closer in where the bikini does not cover - and even do some artful trimming. Having no hair in certain areas ensures better access to those areas by your lover.

If it can be touched, it can be licked. If it can be fondled it can be sucked. So answer me this: Who in the hell wants hair in their mouth or... ugh... stuck in their teeth?

I've opened many a lover's eye to the joys of shaving. Here's my party line as I slaver up their unmentionables while holding a razor in my hand: It makes it look bigger, and every place that is hair-free will get a TON of attention.

Need I say more?

Men! Get out those razors and shave with care. Your partners have eager and loving mouths just waiting to explore you. Seriously. I'm not kidding. If you haven't done any man-scaping at this point in your life then you should and someone should smack your partner for accepting anything less.

Dilapidation has been around since before the Kama Sutra was written-- servants were employed strictly to hand-tweeze the genitalia of the wealthy. And the mere thought of tweezing that most sensitive of areas leaves me shuddering.

Okay - moving on past the uncomfortable hygiene lesson. Once you're smooth and ready for action here is the product to try:

The BEST lubrication I've ever used, and one I would buy stock in the company if I could, is Pjur, Original Formula, Super Concentrated Body Glide made by a company in Germany and available worldwide (but of course you can buy it right at Drugstore.com. Isn't that place just great?).

This product is fabulous for so many reasons - first, it's highly concentrated. Very little goes a long, long way - please keep that in mind when you use it (and it makes the price that much easier to understand). It is odorless and almost tasteless, although I can detect a little taste and so I plan accordingly on when to apply it. It lasts through long encounters. Having to re-lube or have the friction overpower the lube is never fun. Choosing a good product right out of the gate never cuts into the moment, it only enhances it. And last, but certainly not least, it never gets sticky, it stays the same throughout the encounter.

Here are some of the reviews online - and out of 73, almost all were 4 and 5 stars (giving it an overall rating of 4.5)

We discovered this product years ago and it is simply the best lubricant on the market. We've tried other "premium" lubricants and, frankly, they just don't hold a candle to this one. It's long lasting, isn't sticky, and washes off easily. Sure it's a bit on the expensive side, but you use much less than you do for other brands of lubricant. Well worth the extra $ in our opinion. Plus, the cap stays on tightly preventing accidental leaks. All in all probably the best lubricant we've ever used.

Pricey, but lasts for a few years. Just a few drops are plenty to lubricate making every thrust very smooth. Extremely enjoyable!

**personal observation here - a few years? They need to have more sex!! Maybe six to nine months, but years? Eek-gads!

I was introduced to this product by a boyfriend years ago and have kept an eye out for it ever since!! Not only did I find it here, the price is significantly lower than a store I happened to find it at the week after I got my order from here delivered! You don't need a lot, and by that I mean start with one drop and see if you need a second, the reapplication is almost never needed, and it just makes the whole experience that much better, be it boyfriend or toybox you are spending the evening with!

Due to post menopause and sjogren's sydrome the issue of intercourse had been an impossibility for over 5 years. Now I have returned confidence and intimacy with my partner. This product is fantastic. No more burning or friction. Forget the replens product.

It takes some getting used to if you use water-based lubes most of the time, but in the end it's worth it. I have been searching for the best "backdoor" lube and have tried a lot of great products, but this one really takes the cake - the greatest selling point is that it does not need to be re-wetted. It's also thick enough that you don't need to use very much, and it warms up instantly - none of those "this might be cold" moments, haha. Like others have mentioned, it does not get sticky, and makes skin very soft and nice-feeling! You need to use less, and it lasts forever, so even though it costs more, it lasts a lot longer than other lubes, and is well worth the price, to me. However, I have found it is not really suitable to use with silicone toys as it seems to melt them a little (oops) and is very difficult to wash off.

I've been using it for over ten years now, when it used to be called Eros, and if this company ever goes under I'll be buying the stuff by the case to ensure I never run out in my lifetime.

Rating: Five Big O's

Little known fact on another reason why to have lube on hand: Women who take baths (over showers) may not get the fast response from their bodies they are used to (and thus, may require assistance from an outside lubrication) - the warm water leeches moisture from their skin. All of their skin, inside and out.

So even if you're soaking in the tub with the latest erotica book, gearing yourself up to seduce your husband, or enjoying a soak in anticipation to a pre-arranged lover's tryst - please be aware that the bath water will leave you not as "ready" as you might like (or as ready as your mind is after all that sexy reading!).

Lube is every lover's friend. It will allow you to explore positions and openings you may not have in the past, it can help give you a satisfying quickie, it can speed up your enjoyment of a tryst if your lover is large and your body isn't accommodating as fast as you'd like, it can make those toys feel incredible, and as you age it can help replace the natural moisture your body produces due to less hormones.

Pjur is a silicone based lube. This is important! Do not use it with silicone based toys. It creates a surface reaction on the toy that breaks down the item's silicone, causing it to deteriorate and lose the slickness that makes silicone toys so special. For these types you'll need a water-based lubricant.

A good one I've found is called Wet. But it still isn't as good as the Pjur, so that means I don't buy many silicone toys. Yes, I like the product that much. Oh and in doing research for this post for online links, I discovered there is a new product called Pjur Aqua that is a water based product, so I'll be buying that today to see how well it works. The reviews were split on whether it was any good, so who knows.

First ever giveaway on my personal blog. I had to order a bunch of supplements at Drugstore.com so I ordered a bottle of my favorite lubrication to give away to readers!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment on this post or a pingback/link directing others here. **And to be entered you will need to include an email on your comment (so I can get your address later for shipping). Random number will be drawn tomorrow and winner notified immediately! After all, who wants to wait to get this one?

Grab that lube and get your freaky on! The fun has just begun!

~C.J.

Hangover Monday Reality Check

2010-06-14T08:50:00.001-04:00

I seem to have an issues with excesses lately. I partied a little too hard this weekend and I'm feeling the effects today, that's for damn sure. Where are my noble desires to eat right, exercise and take care of myself?

I'm discovering, albeit the hard way, that having a chronic illness can really weaken the personal resolutions we have in life. It seems I can juggle family, writing, editing, house, friends, cooking, exercising and various medications - but not all of them at the same time.

I had a great week of exercise (two weeks ago) and then last week was filled with pain. I'm not sure when the weakness in muscles and joints snuck up on me again, for a while there I thought it was from walking and swimming. But last week I started feeling much older than I am. I'm having trouble on the stairs and walking.

Rather than face the issue that my medications aren't working as well, and perhaps I need to do something about it, I found a new drink when Pete and I went out to dinner last week and I cooked up a low-calorie version--and proceeded to drink way too much of it this weekend. It is seriously yummy.

During my sober moments, before drinking started at four p.m. (because hey, let's face it - even when I drink and go overboard I still do so responsibly), Pete and I talked about the picc line option for antibiotics again. I naively thought it cost around two thousand dollars for the whole treatment. Yes, that's a lot of money, but we have insurance and they'll cover most of it.

It turns out, with the hospital visit to install the line, that one month of treatment is around five thousand. Unaware of this price, I told my doctor that we'd pay for my next treatment if the insurance company won't. Apparently, they have no supporting data that a second picc line treatment will do any more good over longer treatments of oral antibiotics, so they don't always approve them. And some people are on a picc line for months.

Which means we may foot the five to ten thousand dollar treatment ourselves. It won't make us destitute, but it puts a damper on most all of our plans for the foreseeable future. We bought Pete's mom a small duplex this winter and our accounts were wiped out from that. We have retirement plans we can borrow from, so we're doing better than most people and I'm certainly not complaining. Just stating facts.

The real irony is, if I don't work my ass off selling my book when it does get a contract, that my meds will wind up costing more than I'll ever make on the book. The book I wrote to distract my self from my illnesses. Isn't that funny?

Most people think authors make a butt load of money on their books - and sure that might happen if you're a NYT bestseller, but that is not the case with most of the books being produced monthly. The may make five to ten grand if they are lucky.

So today, I'm going to go against doctor's order from six or eight weeks ago (seriously, I'd have to read my own damn blog to remember exactly and how freakin sad is that?), when he told me not to do supplements and it was okay to have a drink now and then. I don't think he was counting on me drinking almost half a litre-sized vodka bottle in 3 days (see? I said it wasn't that bad, but it was bad for me!). I will research the supplements and my current meds to see if any will counteract the antibiotics efficiency, but I have to do something.

The physical issues from Lyme's are making me depressed and pushing me closer to the edge of drinking too much. Which certainly can't be helping me get better. This much I am sure of.

My husband joked this morning when he left for a two-day business trip, "Well, you should be better without me here as a bad influence." And sadly? He's right. He drinks more than he should and it is really hard to not drink when he is. He also exercises daily, takes vitamins and supplements, ran the freakin NY marathon when he turned 40, and basically takes better care of himself than I do.

I have lots of excuses lately. But, just like most writers when they explain why they're not writing, we can all come up with dozens of reasons to support our actions rather than stop them.

I'm tired. I want to go back to bed. I want to cry because I feel like crap. But I won't. I'm going to get that damn book out on Lyme's, again, read what supplements they recommend, go buy them and start fighting this battle more actively. I obviously can't sit around and wait for this week-to-week roller coaster ride of effectiveness with the medication to rule my life. I can't wait to get better anymore.

I need to be part of the cure.

I'm going to go do some yoga stretches for the first time in weeks. See if I can get some of my muscles to ease up. Then buy several hundred dollars worth of supplements online. As far as "fun" shopping, I don't think it counts.

And if you hear me whimpering with muscle pain, give me swift kick in the ass (don't worry, I'll forget it in a few hours). No one said winning this battle against Lyme's would be easy and I'm just going through a rough patch is all.

C.J.

Writing and Rejection

2010-06-10T09:02:00.005-04:00

I stated in an earlier post that I joined a Boot Camp program on savvyauthors.com and so far so good! I'm certainly in a better spot that I was ten days ago, but I'm not quite on track to meet my goals yet. I'll have to kick it up a notch and write everyday for the next seven or so. Especially since I want some family time when we head to Charlottesville the weekend of the 18th.

I'm doing things a little different with this second book and it's causing me some anxiety. During the four months while I wrote the first one I was struggling to learn to write, join critique groups and learn to crit (as well as learn to accept crits!), posting online on WDC for short reviews (or what I call opinions), launched my Facebook page and posted my work, entered contests, joined two writing guilds and multiple sub-chapters and started blogging.

The process was so convoluted I'm amazed I got anything done. I was editing the early chapters whenever I took a break from writing, and in doing so I learned how to write better. My old writing partner and I often joked that the book takes on a completely different feel about 1/3 of the way through. And I think it does. It gets a bit darker and moves from the light hearted fluff of chapter one rather quickly.

Now, here I am with a fairly good grasp on how to write, knowing what my voice is, and I'm doing well in my chosen style. But I'm writing the book faster and losing track of things in my mind. Could be the Lyme's affecting my concentration, but with the first book I knew exactly what time it was in every single scene. Or it could be the head-hopping with multiple POVs in this book that makes things so different.

I'm focusing more on understanding the personality of who I'm currently writing rather than what time it is and where we are on the super-fast timeline. With the constant darkness of my setting and most of my characters being vamps, there doesn't seem to be a break with sleep and what not when the action starts to fly - and like I said, it makes keeping things straight rather hard.

I've gone back and started to guesstimate the time on my outline, so that I have a clue when employee shift changes would happen and which employee would be at the front desk, that kind of thing - but honestly it still feels "off" to me. I'm smack dab in the action and some of the details like time and schedule are becoming fuzzy - which can thankfully be fixed in a revision.

My first book didn't call for a lot of revising (which could change drastically when a publisher's editor gets through with it!), so knowing I'm leaving stuff out and moving forward with the story is driving me out of my comfort zone. But I'm willing to give this method a try. I'm 40% done with book two. I added up all my weeks of actual writing (you know, not sitting on my ass and surfing the net or blogging) and I've worked roughly 5 to 6 weeks so far on this book.

There are a lot of writers that work faster and a boat load more that work slower, so I think I'm doing okay.

I got another rejection yesterday from my agent. Here it is:

I read the whole thing, and then I kept on mulling it (for several weeks!!!). It has its good points, definitely, but it feels more like a paranormal that belongs on a romance list rather than on the fantasy side. The husband/wife relationship is unusual in the paranormals that we publish. I’m afraid I’ll have to let it go.

Not bad as far as rejections go in the big scheme of things, and it's still out with five other publishers, so hopefully one of them will think the story is strong enough because of the same things that doesn't make it a cookie cutter urban fantasy. This publisher was looking at it for a straight fantasy line - and depending on the amount of sex they are comfortable with in the line she certainly could have made some slam comments, so I'm glad she didn't!

The bright side is the story stayed on her mind for a few weeks. That sounds to me like she liked it and was trying to see if she could make it "fit" into what they already produce. Most writers forget, the publisher isn't rejecting your work because it sucks (it never would have made it this far if it sucks, and you have GOT to believe that) - they are rejecting it because it doesn't fit their needs at this time.

This is a business -- and publishers are out to make money. If they had a vamp book that was stronger than mine -- or one that fit the imprint/line better-- then that is what they are going to take a risk on. Not all large publishers are able to take a chance on an unknown writer who is not writing what is currently popular (an unmarried heroine who is kick-butt and not always interested in romance, but out to save the world/solve a crime... you get the idea).

One will be. I know it. Hopefully, it will be sooner rather than later.

How do you deal with the rejection? Let it go? Binge on chocolate? Rant and scream?

Or do you realize that it is only a hurdle, one more bump on the road, to what will be the end result: getting published.

It will happen. I just don't know when. It was Luc de Clapier who said "Patience is the art of hoping."

~C.J.

Oh, and hey - totally off topic. I did some actual physical work this week in the house. Yes, my hubby is thrilled. I stained, sanded and poly'd (repeat the last two four times) our front door. Doesn't it look shiny?

Next is painting the murphy-bed cabinet I've been putting off for weeks, staining the deck stairs and the picnic table outside, and applying teak oil to the kids wooden play set.

Ah... the joys!

Squeezing the Lemons

2010-05-28T13:19:00.001-04:00

This week and last have been filled with new experiences for me. Hell, the past month has been life changing. From a death in the family, ending a relationship with my writing partner and friend, to launching a new venture and starting to write again.

I feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes. A molten spark of life in me glows brightly and will not be extinguished. No matter what.

I got involved with a Shut up and Write group on savvyauthors.com. Which has turned out to be a nice group of writers who encourage each other to meet our varying daily goals. I also signed up for Boot Camp next month on the savvy site to up my word count and get my head back in the game with The Hunt.

In the past two weeks I've written over 6k words on my latest WIP, and while that may not be blockbuster numbers for some writers, it's sure as hell better than where I was prior to that. I lined up some excellent guest bloggers on Wicked this past week- Cheryl K. Tardif and Bertena Varney, as well as lined up more for the coming weeks.

I'd love to get a co-blogger to share my days on both WITS and W W, to not only lighten my work load, but to attract a larger audience. So, if any of you reading this are interested please drop me a line. We're also actively seeking permanent bloggers to the Wicked blog on set days of the week - right now, Wednesday and Friday are open.

One thing the larger group on WITS has shown me is that the sense of community and friendship grows with the amount of people with positive energy in the mix, so I think expanding Wicked will be better with more members in the long run.

I also have some news--even though most of you have already read the excerpts I've posted on FB and other various locations of my first book--the online ezine Blood Read will be serializing the first seven chapters of Vampire Vacation, starting in June. Will I have to change this plan if I get a contract offer? I'm not sure. We'll have to wait and see when an offer comes in and what the verdict is then.

I've been spending some time since Eric's death over at the Vamplit writers social online network. I've met some really talented writers over there and am starting to build some friendships. My old writing partner made me feel like a shit heel for an email I sent out to one of our old co-bloggers who happens to act as an admin over at Vamplit. Stating I drove our co-blogger off when I was attempting to address some issues that were brought up in the group.

It doesn't appear that my old co-blogger hates me, so I'm going to ignore the accusations my writing partner flung at me while wishing I had never listened to her complaints and tried to fix them in the first place. For a while there, because of my old partner, I wasn't so sure I was cut out to try and organize a group of writers.

No matter when you try something new, there is bound to be doubts and fears. But having someone in your life that doesn't support you and instead blames you for all the things wrong in their life is unhealthy. I know a good idea when I get it and I'm not going to give up because of some set backs.

And truthfully? Neither should you.

Accept yourself for who you are and embrace it. Once you're comfortable in your own skin you will be able to see the relationships you've accumulated slowly over your lifetime that are unhealthy and a drain on you. Life, as I've learned more recently than I care to admit, is painfully short.

Don't waste a moment on the ones that say you can't do something, you shouldn't do it, or place blame at your feet. Blame gets you nowhere and neither does guilt.

Let it all go, so that you can rise from the ashes and soar like you were meant to.

Don't be afraid to dream-- and be determined to work your ass off to make those dreams happen.

Have a GREAT holiday weekend everyone!
~C.J.

Taking a Breather

2010-05-18T09:00:00.001-04:00

I wrote last week about getting things in order in my work life and lining things up to focus on my writing. That is what I intend to do so you won't be hearing from me on here for a while. I'll still blog over at Wicked Writers on Mondays and the new group blog Write in the Shadows on Tuesdays, which launches this week. But something has got to give if I'm going to be juggling all these balls in the air, so for now I think it may be this blog.

I really enjoy writing on here because I get to share parts of myself and not worry about what anyone thinks. After all, I'm not attempting (because, hey, sometimes I screw it up) to organize a bunch of other writers-- it's just me. I will still be doing Sex Toys on the Sixteenth because it's just so damn fun. Don't get me wrong, I'll pop back in from time to time and write, but probably not as much.

The recent death of my nephew has greatly affected how I feel and how I'm looking at life right now. Last Friday, I had a very good friend dump a whole bunch of petty issues she's been hoarding for months on me and I don't think I can handle writing in good humor for a bit.

I feel lost and slightly broken hearted. She's not my only friend by any means, but she was a very special one and the crap she handed me felt like kicking a dog when it's already down. I haven't had anyone treat me this way since high school, and frankly that's what this whole debacle is - immature and stupid high school behavior.

Hey, but she feels better for getting it off her chest, so some good came of it, right?

We've all had times like this in our lives. I'll get through it. Just like you all do. With some time and good friends who accept me for who am I and don't try to make me feel bad for not being the person they want me to be.

Want to know some things about me so you'll know to avoid me if you ever meet me face to face?

I talk a lot. I tell long funny stories. I have strong opinions. I give good no-nonsense advice, sometimes when you don't ask for it. I tell the truth, yes, I try to sugar coat it with politeness, but I will tell you the truth-- always. I don't back down from challenges. I stick up for my friends and I'd give them the shirt off my back if they needed it. I'm outspoken and I don't mince words. I excel at organizing things and live most of my life by a plan. I lead in situations where others would prefer to watch. I make mistakes. I admit when I'm wrong and I try to make things right. I don't always succeed. Then I move forward.

Just like life.

I need to repair my heart and guard it a bit. I'm not feeling much like reaching out and being social, even on a blog. But, to my friends out there that keep dragging me out and making me--I owe you a big thanks. We all need a kick in the ass sometimes and I appreciate it when you give me the kicks I need.

Life is short. Don't waste a moment of it on regrets and petty bullshit.

C.J.

Sex Toys on the Sixteenth!

2010-05-16T09:00:00.006-04:00

Ahh... here we are. Another month has gone by and my eager readers are wondering what toys I'll be covering today. Last month there were some questions on whether or not I own the items I'll be writing about. Much to the embarrassment and utter humiliation of my family members, yes, I do own all the items I blog about.

How can I give an honest review if I haven't actually tried it multiple times? That, my dear friends, is what separates a sincere review from a product bashing. I don't even want to think of the partners I've been with who weren't so stellar the first time around, and they got better over time, so everything deserves more than one go.

Unless, of course, you're that one and only one-night-stand I had when I was single and much, much younger. I laughed so hard when it was over (and right in his face) that I'm pretty sure he knew there was never going to be a second chance ~ ever.

Okay - TMI? Moving on! ;-)

Today's product is part of a line called Liberator Shapes - and the ones I like are called the Black Label version of the Wedge/Ramp Combo. Any of you out there with back issues? THIS is the product for you. It will offer you firm support that regular bed pillows just can't match.

Please go to the site to check out the pics in the above link. The ones from the site came through super tiny and grainy, so I got this bland version from drugstore.com. But I would have loved to have the ones with the good looking couple in their underwear showing off various poses. The liberator site is discreet, but if you click on any videos all bets are off. I'm not talking porn, by any means, but something you should not be viewing at work or with your kids in the room.

I have very few vices in life - I like books and I like sex (okay, and alcohol and dark chocolate and ...). So for me, the price tag of $210 for something that comes with an instruction book, cuffs and straps (mine came with it, I think, but I read that now you must pay extra for them, sorry), a blindfold, and washable covers was a no-brainer. Oh and it also comes in a version for taller or larger partners that require more space. When you think of what we spend on a night out - four hours of a babysitter ($30), dinner with drinks ($60) and a movie (freakin $21!!) then we're halfway there on the price.

Do your self a favor - if you have a height difference between you and your partner, back pain of any kind, or want to take a walk on the wild side -- then please consider this product (or the original version without the snazzy buckles, which will save you some bucks).

Rating: 4.5 out of five Big O's

While I'm not saying this is the be all end all of toys for the bedroom, I can say that we both enjoy them immensely and we did try lots of new positions. Here are some other reviews from the product site:

"Awesome product! Got this to enjoy with my girlfriend now soon to be wife when we were doing a long distance relationship. I don't think we got off it all weekend. Great way to see if your girl is into any bondage and likes being tied up. She'll love the feel of the fabric and it really feels like being pampered. Combine with some hip straps and blindfold and it's even better. I was surprised to see how inhibitions fade away with the use of a blindfold. This has opened our sex life to many different avenues."

And another:

"met my wife about 10 years ago and the sex was amazing. after ten years its still good but but no excitement. now enter the ramp wedge combo. bought it for valentines day but with the storm we had didn't get it till after the 14th, such is my life. when we got it, it was like we were teens again. these are the best bedroom products we've ever used. definetly remember the restraints you will not be dissapointed.definetly will be buying more in the future (hopefully the esse or the new stage combo)."

And another; you can just hear her happiness leap off the page:

"My husband and I went to the factory store in Atlanta about a month ago and purchased the Black Label Wedge/Ramp combo. We've been married for 20 years and decided it was time to spice it up! The angles are UNBELIEVABLE allowing you to have mind blowing sex! The pieces work great serperate as well. My favorite is the wedge!! It is quite the serving platter. The cuffs and blindfold are extremely soft and comfortable to use when you want to gloriously torture your partner. Did I say OMG!! If they made Liberator bumper stickers I would probably put one on my car!"

Did you notice I picked reviews from various ages and married groups? I did that for a reason - each generation thinks/acts like they invented sex. And we all know by the continuation of the species for this long that's simply not true. Has no one heard of the Kama Sutra?

Pete and I have probably had our liberator shapes or "bedroom adventure gear" (I saw that on their site and thought that was a hoot) for over three years and love them. I think they'd be a great addition to any bedroom no matter the age or size of the partners.

Don't be shy.

Take a walk on the wild side and try the blindfold. Seriously.

And the cuffs. Trust me.

Would I steer you wrong?
~C.J.

True Lies Answers

2010-05-14T07:30:00.002-04:00

Thank you all for participating in my True Lies/ Creative Blogger Award. It was an blast and just what I needed to kick me back into gear. Bad news - no one won the contest.

I was cracking up so hard at all the responses that I'm almost embarrassed to admit the truth. Notice I said almost - you have seen I have a special monthly feature called Sex Toys on the Sixteenth, right? I don't embarrass easily.

As a run down:

1) Yes, I was locked in the bathroom stall and the damn bathroom attendant decided to wander off for her break right when I went into the mini-room with the broken lock. It had floor to ceiling walls and a door - no way out. Pete couldn't hear my screaming and pounding, but he was just about to ask someone to go check on me. Uh-huh, sure. I still have flash backs when I go into that type of bathroom. And I leave the door unlocked. Flashing a stranger is still better than not being understood when you cry for help in a foreign country.

2) Yes, my father bought me the mace. The scary part is the security guy questioning me knew I couldn't have bought it while living in Jersey, where it was illegal and pressured me on where I actually got it. My dad was in Virginia and the officer knew it was legal to buy there. It was freaky for a while there. Learned a lesson though. Mace on a plane is a no-no.

3) Yes, also true. I spell for crap. Seriously. I can write out a word three or four times to try and pick the correct way to spell it and still choose the wrong way. It's been a problem since I was a kid.

4) Yes, I was a receptionist in my early twenties at the headquarters for a nationwide company. They liked my voice and professionalism on the phone so much they recorded me for training other receptionists.

5) Yes, the one about the fuck-er-ware party was also true. Do I need to elaborate? Have you read any of my work? ;-)

6) No, believe it or not, I have not had two gorgeous men ask me to be in a threesome. And if I had I would not have said yes. Just wanted to clear that up in case any of you may have mistaken my adventurous side with the sex toys as my being a slutty tramp with such low self-esteem she'd hop into bed with two guys just because they asked. Low self-esteem is not something I've ever had.

Over-inflated, yes. But I digress.

7) Yes, I stole the beer stein. But, in my defense, those beers were really big and I was kind-of drunk. I'm just amazed I thought of the stein-in-the-sleeve plan and it actually worked. And yes, they did pat you down at the exit. Apparently trying to steal the huge mugs is a big problem they have. And I still have the stein. Yay!

Thanks to everyone who commented. It was nice to see all the responses. I'm still laughing that out of all of those choices, Gina thought the menage offer was the only truth. Just goes to show that yes, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

Lastly, before I close, I just wanted to thank you all. The past few weeks have been really hard with losing Eric and I really appreciate all the kind words and friends who've reached out to me and Pete. Obviously, what we're experiencing is nothing compared to his parents and brothers, but it has been a hard loss for all of us to come to terms with.

It's friends like all of you that make the healing process that much easier to bear. I know the pain will lessen in time, but some days are better than others. Life goes on and while I'm struggling to wrap my head around that, it's great to have people in my life that help me smile and give me an ear when I need to vent.

Thanks,

C.J.

Time to Get Serious

2010-05-11T17:20:00.005-04:00

I've been farting around for months now. I allowed a contest to get inside my head, then a bunch of bloggers, then my illness climbed on my back to pull me down when I was free of most of the bullshit life heaped on me... and right as I struggled to get back on track and organize myself and my thoughts... Eric died.

Don't get me wrong - there's been some good the past few months too. I landed an agent and currently have more people considering my book than rejecting it (hey, always a plus). I started a group blog and most weeks it's been a lot of fun. I've met lots of new writers, joined some new sites and met some book bloggers that didn't hate my book at first reading. So yeah, life hasn't been all bad.

I've been reading some blogs from other writers and blogs from friends and one thing has become painfully obvious over the past few weeks. Life does go on.

There may be things I'd like to shout to certain family members about their behaviors and choices in life, but I will refrain. After all, if they haven't figured this crap out by now then nothing I can say will help.

I'm going to start writing again, but only after I finish editing my writing buddy's work. One thing I haven't mentioned on my blog, because of all the other stuff going on it seemed rather petty in comparison, but she's is pulling away from writing right now. She's not giving up, she just has to re-prioritize what she can do with her time for herself and for her family, and writing comes in after that.

It's been hard on me because she has also pulled away from our friendship. We used to spend a lot of time on the phone and email each other constantly. Writing quickly took up a big BIG chunk of our lives this past year. I know she feels overwhelmed and this is her way of dealing with things, so in response, I need to be grown up about it as well.

Before I get back on track with my own writing and life I need to finish editing her work. I signed up for a great writing site: www.savvyauthors.com and joined a writing group to make some friends and stay motivated. I'm still getting to know people and talk in the forums, but so far everyone seems pretty cool and on track.

I'll take the rest of this week to do my partner's remaining chapters and then get back to writing for several hours a day on Monday. My goal is to get most of this book done before the kids get out of school.

Pete and I still feel like we're in a haze. We tend to go to bed early and stare mindlessly at the TV for an hour or so before that. But yesterday was a good day. I went in the hot tub before dinner (I walked for an hour and was already in pain, damn I'm out of shape) while the kids played basketball. Pete cooked and then we had a fire in the fire-pit table Eric built for us.

The day before was even better. The kids made me breakfast in bed, and ate most of it. We planted two vegetable gardens outside and then soaked in the hot tub before having my folks and my brother over for a nice Mother's Day dinner.

Each day that passes and each happy moment makes us cherish life all the more and be grateful for what we have. The pain will ease a bit little by little and we won't feel awkward when laughter grips us in its hold.

I plan on dedicating my second book to Eric. Now, I just have to get off my ass and finish writing it.

Write on!
~C.J.

True Lies or Creative Writing?

2010-05-07T16:50:00.003-04:00

This week Kerri Nelson nominated me for an interesting, but fun, blogosphere award: Creative Writer Blogger Award. Thanks chiquita, I needed something fun.

The award requires me to write as well as nominate seven other bloggers to carry on the award. My nominations will be at the bottom of this blog post.

Basically, I'm required to tell you seven things about myself that may or may not be accurate. They can consist of either six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie. Or six outrageous lies and one outrageous truth. Read below to see if you can decide which way I chose to go.

1) I was once accidentally locked in a small room-like bathroom stall in a foreign country and not released (no matter my pounding and screaming) by the other patrons for over fifteen minutes.

2) Prior to 9/11, I was caught in an airport with Mace clipped to the outside of my purse, trying to board a plane to the U.S., and came close to being arrested for carrying a terrorist weapon.

3) I never wrote much in my life because I have a serious issue with grasping how to spell words correctly. You will almost never receive a handwritten card from me because they take me so many tries to get them error free.

4) I've been recorded for training purposes. Now don't you want to know what was recorded and for what training? ;-)

5) I was asked to run a "fuck-er-ware" type party back in the mid-nineties because I apparently knew more than the poor woman running it.

6) Years ago, I had an opportunity to be with two gorgeous men at the same time and chickened out, despite their urging, because I was too sober to say yes.

7) I stole a one-litre beer stein out of the Lowenbrau tent in Germany during Oktoberfest, by slipping the stein into the sleeve of my coat, knotting the bottom of the sleeve and draping the coat over my arm prior to the body search/pat down at the exit.

Now here's your chance to guess. Which one is not like the other? Which one is the lie or which one is the truth? You decide. Winner will receive a box of four books and I'll send you the list of what I have available for you to choose. Place your guess in the comments below the post - and all you Facebook readers have to come to the blog and not post your guess on FB! The contest will run for one week. Cheers!

On to the next round to keep the fun moving along. Here are my nominees:

2) W.J. Howard

6) Boone Brux

7) Magnolia Belle

Some of you haven't been blogging for a while and I thought this award might be just the kick start you needed to get those lies... er, uh... creative juices flowing!

Just Keep Walking

2010-05-07T08:42:00.002-04:00

What to do when you feel like doing nothing? How about doing what you procrastinate about constantly? Like exercising?

So that's what I'm doing again today. I'm going walking in a bit. I worked a little yesterday on the new group blog scheduled to launch May 17th, called Write in the Shadows. I did some housecleaning on Wicked Writers, which was kind of depressing, removing Wendy's info and such.

Too many goodbyes this week and I didn't want to face another one is all. Wendy was a huge part of the team and a big help. Not having her around will be hard and trying to replace her is a task I'm not up to right now.

I've had a really nice young woman approach me about doing Fanfiction on my series. I don't really know a lot about what that is, but Wikipedia had some great info. From what I read on there fans don't need an author's permission, they just do it, so I'm not sure what I should be doing next. That's why I emailed my agent. Hey, she's smarter than me about all this stuff.

Speaking of my agent, I got some news from her yesterday that one of the eight publishers still currently considering V V, informed her that my MS was being taken to the Acquisition team and maybe they'll have an answer by the end of the month. It's super exciting news.

In case some of you don't know, sometimes it's not solely up to one editor who decides to buy your book at a large publisher. Most times it must go before a team of professionals and the editor must pitch it to the group and convince them of why the book is worthy or the company should take a chance on it.

I don't know much about this imprint under the publisher and while of course I intend to do some research on them, it's still pretty early in the game to count my chickens. I won't be naming names or naming numbers until I'm told it's okay to do so. I have enough business experience not to do that.

But it's two spots of good news and I wanted to share it. I needed a little brightness right now.

And now, I'm off to go walking. Everything will look better after I walk on a beautiful day.

~C.J.

The Un-Blog Post

2010-05-06T08:30:00.001-04:00

I still don't feel up to blogging or doing much of anything, but decided to share something my daughter created yesterday that made Pete and I smile. She's had an interest in quizzes lately-- you know the type young kids pass around/read out loud to each other and answer for fun? Cute stuff. She made her own up and here it is:

Are You a Good Friend Test

lightly shade in your answer

1) If you are going on a walk with your friend on a rainy day, what do you do?

A) Go even without a raincoat

B) Go, but make sure you both wear nifty raincoats before going

C) Say no, you don't want to get wet

2) You're sneaking a snack for your friend. What will you sneak?

A) A candy bar

B) An apple

C) A box of spinach

3) Your friend and you are catching and releasing frogs by the lake, what would you do with the frog?

A) Hold it in you hand and pet it

B) Hold it then plop it into your friend's hand

C) Squish it!

4) You and your friend want to watch a movie. You can't decide. How would you solve this problem?

A) Let your friend pick the movie

B) Answer 'A', but you you choose next time

C) You choose the movie

*Turn page over when done

How you did:

Mostly A's: You are an honest and trust-worthy friend :-D

Mostly B's: You are an O.K. friend, but not as good as mostly A's. :-)

Mostly C's: You reeaalllyyy need to work on your friendship :-(

And yes, she's nine and the smiley faces were included. Hope it brought a smile to your face as well.

C.J.

21 Is Too Young to Die

2010-04-25T09:58:00.001-04:00

While I'd like nothing more than to tell you about my trip in Disney and our week away, I can't. My heart is breaking right now. Yesterday afternoon, during our hellishly long trip home, we received some devastating news. Our 21 year old nephew, who just returned from Iraq and visited us last month, died in a motorcycle accident.

The details--other than he was hit by a truck while crossing an intersection--are not clear. And really, they don't matter. Nothing will change the fact that he's gone. I still can't believe it. I'm hoping for a phone call that says it was all a mistake... but, I know it won't be coming.

Eric was filled with so much promise and life. His parents divorced in his teen years and he went through a really, really rough patch for a bit. His relationship with Asa, one of his brothers, is probably the only thing that saved him. He didn't have a desire to go to college right away and couldn't get a decent job, so he joined the Army and it was the best thing for him.

It helped him decide on college, pick a path, and take care of himself. He served one tour overseas so far and probably had more in his future before his term was up. But he had already decided not to re-enlist and was going to take the chance to get a degree afterward. We'd encouraged him to pick a school in Virginia and live with us when he got out, but who knows what he would have ultimately chosen.

My husband and I cried together last night after our long trip. We sat in our living room and recalled Eric's recent visit with us and his love of his Kindle. He was reading a ton of classics and able to discuss things on a deeper level of appreciation than he could have a few years ago. He talked about friends back home, guys in his unit, times in Iraq, a new fascination with jujitsu... and plans for his future.

It breaks my heart to see such waste to a life.

We haven't told our kids yet. They had head-phones on with videos for most of the ride and didn't hear my many phone calls to family. We'll be waiting on details while they fly Eric back to Jersey from Texas and his brothers come home from Afghanistan and Iraq.

Our home is filled with memories of Eric - he and Asa helped to build the pergola in our backyard with Pete, they installed new railings together on our deck, and Eric built our little fire-pit table. One year, they even hid eggs for a big easter egg hunt we had. They've always been great coming so far to visit us and I'm grateful for every moment they spent with us.

He and I had a blast discussing his werewolf character I was naming after him for book two, and he gladly took my first book with him when he left. Parts of him and his personality will live on in my stories, but I would rather have him here to laugh with me.

I love you, Eric. You will be sorely missed. You will live in our hearts forever, although that just doesn't seem enough right now.

Sex Toys on The Sixteenth!

2010-04-16T08:00:00.008-04:00

Hello and welcome to a new topic I plan to cover every month - sex toys. Is the subject taboo? Do you ever mention it at parties? Well, how do we learn about these interesting items?

Do we fork over hard earned cash and hope for the best? After all, I don't think many of us would have the cajones to actually return a product we've used... er... um... intimately. Stop by here and see what I've tried and liked and maybe visit some links where you can check out some other reviews by real people.

I promise the sites will never be something you could get arrested for visiting and never something you have to worry about opening (i.e. pictures of naked people, and/or porn stuff) unless I have otherwise noted.

The first item I'm reviewing is one I've mentioned in my manuscript, Vampire Vacation. Hopefully, an editor won't make me remove all references to an actual brand in the final published version, but we'll have to wait and see. I've given this item as a gift and talked about it with a group of friends going over my MS (dubbed Gossip Fest), and hence, a lot of my neighbors now own it. All have glowing things to say.

The Cone

Ah... a nifty gadget with pictures for an instruction manual--which I've posted randomly throughout this review. The product bills itself for both male and female use and I can understand how it would stimulate the prostrate, so why not?

It has two buttons (see above), one that turns it on and off, and one that helps you rotate between all sixteen vibrartion/pulsation settings. Sixteen?!? Yes, (Oh, yes!) you read that right.

There is also a feature that when you press and hold the on/off button down for a few seconds it jumps to the big "O" setting. The ever-changing fast-paced setting is designed to drive you to your peak quickly.

We had friends who attended our adults-only halloween party this year and they hated the costumes they'd purchased. They arrived late to the party because they decided to go with a more unique homemade costume--they wore robes over undergarments/nighties, had condoms and lube spilling out of a robe pocket, and carried the empty cone box in one hand! They announced upon arrival, "We're sorry we're late. We were busy."

Man, I never laughed so hard in my life! The kicker to all this is the wife did not attend that fateful Gossip Fest night, nor did she get it as a gift from me. She read my manuscript and went to the web to find the product! Her husband likes it so much--and has become a staunch advocate of the cone--that he suggested we give it to another friend for her birthday this past January. Now, if you knew this straight-laced, amiable guy you'd be spitting vodka out of your nose like I almost did when he suggested it to me at a New Year's Eve party.

I'm pretty sure I bought our Cone at drugstore.com, but it was much pricier two and half or three years ago when I got it. Did you even know that website have a sexual well-being section that delivers cool stuff to you in a drugstore.com box? Can't get any better for buying sex toys, you know?

It was a risky purchase. I wasn't so sure it was worth the $129.00 price tag. Or course, last year when my tipsy friends left my house and scrambled home to the Internet, they found it on Amazon for much less. It even comes in black now! While I can't say this toy will be the "one" that you use every time you decide to incorporate a gadget when you make love, I can tell you that whenever it comes out of the drawer it's an enjoyable night!

You'll read some amazing reviews and you'll read some luke-warm ones regarding any product. Real people using real gadgets can all expect completely different results. I can tell you one thing, out of the eight people I know who've used it they all agree on The Cone's rating:

Five Big O's

(with five being the highest)

Ease of Use: Five out of five stars
(seriously, you hit a button and it's hands free, doesn't get much easier than that!)

Here are some SAFE reviews you can view from Amazon, please check out the good and the bad. Every voice is unique, but I can tell you that most people who like a sex toy don't talk about it online, it's only the few who don't care for an item that will speak up. (and not many want their name on the review!)

Amazon Reviews of The Cone

Have you tired it? Know anyone that has? Share your thoughts with me!

Hope to see you next month for Sex Toys on the Sixteenth!

C.J.
**And to all my facebook friends who comment on FB, thank you! Why not share the love and steer some friends to the review? They'll be glad you did ;-)

I Had a Dream About a Contract...

2010-04-14T08:31:00.002-04:00

Normally, I'm a pretty level-headed chick. I hold no delusions of self-grandeur and I'm grateful for every person that likes my book. I woke up at 6 something on the vague edges of a dream where I received two contract offers in my email. Funny on so many levels.

First, even in my dream the money wasn't a huge amount. Yes, it was much more than a sharp stick in the eye, and everyone has different idea of what an author makes these days, but let's just say both were in the low five-figure range. Apparently, I even dream in the relatively-realistic range.

Second, my agent would call me. I doubt very highly she'd email me with news of an offer. We save email for the rejects ;-)

Third, a contract would not be in an email. I read recently that some big publishers are going back to paper because an agent had hacked their encryption capabilities and changed a legal document. Yikes, and wrong on so many levels I don't even want to begin to touch that with a ten foot pole.

So there it is. My start to the day. Make of it what you will.

I'm having a great week health wise. The Herx reaction seems to be dying down and I'm almost symptom free again. I've been exercising and that combined with the meds this seems to be making a HUGE difference in how I feel day to day.

The doctor gave me some good news when we chatted on Monday. After I relayed my symptoms to him and told him about my fever last week he agreed it was the Herxheimer reaction, which is a very, very good sign in this battle against Lyme. He also told me not to do the supplements b/c he didn't know enough about them and it was crucial I not do anything that could impede the antibiotics from working right now. He also told me the occasional glass of wine (which I don't drink) or chocolate bar would probably be fine too.

YAY!!

He dismissed the caffeine comment so I'm drinking my 3 cups of 1/2 caf a day again. He agreed that perhaps the recommendations suggested in the book were for patients who were generally in very poor health (due to the disease) and that perhaps their doctors put them on this regimen because they needed to improve their overall health significantly just to fight the bacteria. I'm just thrilled I'll be able to enjoy some of the Hershey's chocolate, have a gluten free beer, and coffee while on vacation. Heck - maybe I'll have all three in one day!

It truly is amazing how being sick can make you look at every aspect of your life completely different. Yes, yes, I'm not dying, we know that. Although, the more I learn of Lyme's the more it sounds like some of the really bad cases wish they were dead.

I'm taking all the advice (thank you!) -- I'm leaving my computer behind on this vacation. I'm packing at least three books by my favorite authors I've been dying to read. I'm going to exercise every damn day and sleep well every night. I'm going to enjoy my kids and de-stress. And yes, I'll take pictures.

In so many ways this has been the hardest year of my entire life. I've pushed myself into an entirely new career as a way to escape what I couldn't change. Thanks to the help of my supporters, I've accomplished more than most new writers do in five years or more. You've all helped me see this dream is real and can really come true. Thank you, again.

Kind of fitting, that the first break I'm allowing myself to have in over a year is a trip to Disney... Where dreams can come true. Isn't that their slogan? Something like that.

I'll miss you guys, but I'll be back and I'll occasionally check email. So try me there if it's important. Oh - and please stop back by on the Friday for the first installment of Sex Toys on the Sixteenth. I'll be leaving that morning, but will stop by with my trusty email-phone to see what everyone has to say (on here and on Facebook ;-).

Cheers~
C.J.

Coping with the Herx

2010-04-11T09:39:00.001-04:00

I'm reassured in my recent reading that I'm not actually going crazy, no, it just feels like I am. Perhaps I thought if I didn't read all the info out there on Lyme I wouldn't worry. Or I wouldn't be subject to it. In some cases, learning more about a disease can make you imagine you have all the complex symptoms.

But what do you do when the meds don't seem to work and you feel worse by the day? You do research. After all, you can't expect in this day and age that your doctor is the sole source of knowledge or that her/she can hold your hand throughout your entire illness. I'm not even sure if that time ever did exist, but it certainly isn't now, that's for damn sure.

When you work from home and are ill it's amazing how incredibly isolated you become. Your sole source of interaction for days can be your family and your connections online. There are days at a stretch where I live in yoga pants, t-shirts and have my long dirty hair in a pony-tail. But hey, I brush my teeth and now that the picc line is out I bathe more often, I swear.

Believe it or not--which I know this is so hard to believe because I'm so "open" on line -- most of my friends don't know I'm this sick. It's not for lack of caring on their part. It's me. I don't mind being the sole source of attention when I'm telling a joke, relaying a funny story, or leading a girl scout meeting, but I don't like being a downer and talking about my health to most people.

Usually, they have to ask or I explain tid-bits when I reach out for help or have to cancel/change plans. But I don't like to talk about it much. What's the point? It's depressing and no one can help me get better. It's something I have to do on my own.

I've been alcohol free since Wednesday, along with no chocolate and greatly reduced amount of caffeine (ONE! cup per day, argh!!), I've started taking more supplements and did well with the forced exercise until the Herxheimer reaction caused a low grade fever on Thursday. The things I'm supposed to do to help this antibiotic do it's job are so damn long I had to make a list.

The main problem is I keep forgetting details. I've always been a detail-oriented person and list making comes second nature to me. But they only work if you use them. I forget where I've put them, forget to check them, and forget pretty much lots of things on them.

I'm torn on what to do when we go to Disney next week. Part of me wants to write in the evenings and be prepared for down time by bringing my laptop in case the urge hits me. Another wants to completely relax and do nothing. Which is very, very hard for me to do.

Having my computer helps to focus my mind and keep me sane when the brain fog takes over. It helps to give me an outlet. But I'm editing pretty crappy right now and had to stop working on my writing partner's book when I couldn't concentrate.

My hope is the Herx will wear off while I'm gone and after the kids go to bed I can catch up with editing and write if I feel I can handle it.

I've got a lot on my plate this coming week and I plan to work my best to get it all done before our trip. I can't decide which is worse - all the new dietary restrictions and supplements, the lack of caffeine or the lack of alcohol. Oh, and let's not forget the forced exercise. Whee!

Off to walk the neighborhood with my kids, while I attempt to hold back from yelling too loudly at them when they careen into the street with their bikes, like mad-cap fools hell bent on an early death. Then come back and write my post for Wicked tomorrow, work outside sometime today and then judge a contest entry which is due tomorrow.

Oh - and take my meds. Yay.

C.J.

If a little knowledge is dangerous... what is too much?

2010-04-08T09:40:00.000-04:00

I can answer that one in regards to Lyme. It's scary and makes you not sleep at night. I had a mini-freak out on Tuesday when my symptoms seemed to come roaring back. It shouldn't happen while on meds, right?

Wrong.

I had thought maybe it was an indicator the meds weren't working. After all, my doc said if the meds work orally we have no need to go back to the picc line just yet. So I finally picked up the book my friend, Linda, lent me - Coping with Lyme Disease by Denise Lang.

It's a dense read (which is hard to tackle when experiencing brain fog from Lyme's) and although I looked through it ages ago when she lent it to me I admit I put it down because it was depressing. Well, my tune has changed. I need to get better and no matter how scary this stuff sounds in the book, I have to believe I can get through this. And reading what doctors have been figuring out in the past twenty years battling this illness can only be a good thing.

Hard? Yes, but good, nonetheless.

Apparently, on Tuesday I experienced something called the Jarish-Herxheimer Reaction. Basically, it means the meds are working (yay!) and the bacteria is dying, but that the toxins released by the bacteria are flooding my body in such high numbers my system can't get them processed and filtered out fast enough. And thus the appearance of a relapse of symptoms.

Finding a shred of hope in the pages of the book in regards to this recent problem, led me to continue reading. And I discovered the whole eating, supplement and exercise section.

Crap.

No alcohol. No caffeine. No drugs. (as in? I'm taking a bunch of prescribed stuff, so I assume they mean recreational? Damn!) Low fat. Lots of veggies. No yeast products. No chocolate (ah, great right after my trip to Hershey? The damn candy is on my bloody desk!). No aged cheeses. No broccoli (huh? no reason given).

Things to add: Aerobic exercise daily (crap!), and a slew of supplements (freakin kill me now). Some I've heard of, others I haven't. Some have a two week on, one week off schedule to keep and I can't freakin believe I'm going to have to write this stuff down to keep track of it.

Am I going to do it?

Yes.

Reading through the book I saw they had a different definition of Chronic Lyme's than the one my doctor and I discussed. It covers anyone who is still battling the live bacteria within their body. Oh, and guess what? The pesky thing can go dormant for ages and then come back to get you years later--full blown and pervasive again throughout your entire body. WTF?!?

These doctors have studied it for years and have been treating it for over two decades. I plan on following the advice no matter how damn hard it is. If I sit and wait for this antibiotic treatment to work all on its own, how can I cry foul if it doesn't work and I'm adding to the issue by not doing everything I can to make the medicine work better?

Oh - and there is a whole section about using Deet and other insecticides as preventatives. The CDC and Poison Control Centers recommend this route as safe and effective if the products are used right. Read the directions!!

I plan on using them to treat my family and keep them safe from this disease. I've always been one of those parents who shunned Deet on my kids. But would I spare them from this when I live in a dangerous area? You betcha.

Looks like I'm off to do some Internet shopping! Gots to get me some supplements and pesticides!

Maybe as a plus I'll drop some poundage from no alcohol, no coffee, no drugs and no chocolate.

Man, it sucks to be me.

C.J.